Christmas is a great time to get caught up with old friends. This week, I heard from two people from my past. They don't know each other. The live in very different places. They have little in common. But they shared almost identical stories. Oddly, they used the same vocabulary and even asked the same questions.
Hearing their stories, I began to ask their questions. Even further, I suspect that many, many people are asking the same questions.
My first friend is worried about his marriage. He is specifically worried that he made a mistake when he got married. What's worse, he feels that God is making his life difficult now because of his so-called mistake. He admits that this feeling about God's displeasure is probably not rational, but he can't escape the idea that God is intent on paying him back.
My other friend is worried about a choice he made a few years back in taking a new job. He wonders now if that choice was a mistake. He too wonders if God is making his life difficult now because of the decision he made about his work. With almost identical language, this second friend admitted that it was silly to think of God paying him back for his error - but he can't get the idea out of his head.
What's most remarkable is that both of these people sought God's guidance when they were making their decisions. They prayed. They asked God for direction. They listened to the counsel of godly friends. At the time, they knew how huge their decisions were, but they moved forward hoping that they were being obedient to the call of God. Admittedly, there were no visions or voices, but they weren't really expecting that.
For awhile, in both cases, everything seemed fine. Then doubt set in. Today, my two friends are deeply troubled. What bothers them most is not that they might have made a mistake, but that they sense God's displeasure.
There are stories in the Bible about deliberate disobedience. Jonah comes to mind. Sent by God in a particular direction, Jonah went the opposite way. The result of his disobedience was swift and dramatic. In the case of my friends, however, there was no deliberate disobedience. They desperately wanted to please God - and now they fear that they didn't.
I am completely convinced that God speaks to us and shows us the way to go. But unless we're willing to claim human infallibility, we simply have to acknowledge the possibility that even sincerely seeking people can be wrong from time to time. Despite their efforts, it's quite possible that my friends made mistakes. Maybe they didn't sense God's guidance clearly. Maybe their own desires clouded their spiritual search. Maybe God spoke clearly and they simply didn't hear.
But here's the question that is keeping me up at night now: what does God do with our mistakes? What if, despite our best intentions, we mess up? What if we do the wrong thing - even when we desperately try to do the right thing? What does God do with that?
I'm not totally sure.
But I am sure about a couple of things.
First, whatever we do - and however we reach our decision - God assures us that we forever rest in his everlasting arms (Deuteronomy 33:27). Even in our missteps - or perceived missteps - God will not desert us. Our security is certain - even when we have messed up - or when we think we have. It's not in God's character to be vindictive. Yes, we will live with consequences, but God isn't in the business of "paying us back."
Second, even if we make mistakes, God is able to shape our mistakes into his plan. In fact, that's one of the wonders of God. He can take our mistakes - especially unintentional ones - and work those right into the story. When we find ourselves doubting our own choices from the past, our best next step is to . . . well, to take another step, and to trust God's power to keep working. He assures us that he can do that. And he assures us that he will do that. What he cares most about is not whether we get every decision right - but whether we are living and growing in relationship with him.
As a parent, I want my kids to get it right - but I want even more for them to love me. I think that's how God is too.
Here is what's most interesting to me. I'm not sure if my friends made mistakes at all. I think it was right for my first friend to get married. And I think it was right for my second friend to take the new job. But even if I can't convince them of that, I hope that they will cling to God's gracious love and trust him to write the next chapter of the story.
God always seems to be able to add a little more to the story . . . even when we think we've come to the end.
My other friend is worried about a choice he made a few years back in taking a new job. He wonders now if that choice was a mistake. He too wonders if God is making his life difficult now because of the decision he made about his work. With almost identical language, this second friend admitted that it was silly to think of God paying him back for his error - but he can't get the idea out of his head.
What's most remarkable is that both of these people sought God's guidance when they were making their decisions. They prayed. They asked God for direction. They listened to the counsel of godly friends. At the time, they knew how huge their decisions were, but they moved forward hoping that they were being obedient to the call of God. Admittedly, there were no visions or voices, but they weren't really expecting that.
For awhile, in both cases, everything seemed fine. Then doubt set in. Today, my two friends are deeply troubled. What bothers them most is not that they might have made a mistake, but that they sense God's displeasure.
There are stories in the Bible about deliberate disobedience. Jonah comes to mind. Sent by God in a particular direction, Jonah went the opposite way. The result of his disobedience was swift and dramatic. In the case of my friends, however, there was no deliberate disobedience. They desperately wanted to please God - and now they fear that they didn't.
I am completely convinced that God speaks to us and shows us the way to go. But unless we're willing to claim human infallibility, we simply have to acknowledge the possibility that even sincerely seeking people can be wrong from time to time. Despite their efforts, it's quite possible that my friends made mistakes. Maybe they didn't sense God's guidance clearly. Maybe their own desires clouded their spiritual search. Maybe God spoke clearly and they simply didn't hear.
But here's the question that is keeping me up at night now: what does God do with our mistakes? What if, despite our best intentions, we mess up? What if we do the wrong thing - even when we desperately try to do the right thing? What does God do with that?
I'm not totally sure.
But I am sure about a couple of things.
First, whatever we do - and however we reach our decision - God assures us that we forever rest in his everlasting arms (Deuteronomy 33:27). Even in our missteps - or perceived missteps - God will not desert us. Our security is certain - even when we have messed up - or when we think we have. It's not in God's character to be vindictive. Yes, we will live with consequences, but God isn't in the business of "paying us back."
Second, even if we make mistakes, God is able to shape our mistakes into his plan. In fact, that's one of the wonders of God. He can take our mistakes - especially unintentional ones - and work those right into the story. When we find ourselves doubting our own choices from the past, our best next step is to . . . well, to take another step, and to trust God's power to keep working. He assures us that he can do that. And he assures us that he will do that. What he cares most about is not whether we get every decision right - but whether we are living and growing in relationship with him.
As a parent, I want my kids to get it right - but I want even more for them to love me. I think that's how God is too.
Here is what's most interesting to me. I'm not sure if my friends made mistakes at all. I think it was right for my first friend to get married. And I think it was right for my second friend to take the new job. But even if I can't convince them of that, I hope that they will cling to God's gracious love and trust him to write the next chapter of the story.
God always seems to be able to add a little more to the story . . . even when we think we've come to the end.