I'm a planner.
I like to have things ready. I like to anticipate and prepare. To borrow a good advertising slogan and use it as my own life motto, the best surprise is no surprise at all.
And, normally, that approach serves me well. Having prepared, it's easier to adapt to whatever might happen. All the planning often pays off and I'm usually able to minimize the moments when I'm standing up in front with nothing to say.
Sometimes, though, it doesn't work out that way. Sometimes, even when I've tried hard to prepare, I'm left standing there with nothing but a faint hope that God will give a word. Actually, we are promised that sort of thing in Scripture - that God will give us the words that we need exactly when we need them. As sure as I am about that promise, though, it's still a scary prospect to be standing there simply hoping that a word comes out when I open my mouth.
Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be preaching the funeral service for Laura Lewis.
I have worked tirelessly for two days now trying to shape something to say that will honor Laura, bring glory to God, and somehow soften the heartache that has gripped our community. Normally by this time in the process, I would be just about finished. Normally by this point, I would have most of the words in my mind and heart. Normally by the night before, I would be ready.
But not this time.
I'm not sure that I have ever done anything so difficult. And because that's true, mere human preparation won't be nearly enough this time. If God doesn't show up tomorrow and provide something for me to say, then it's going to be a very quiet funeral. But I have great confidence that God will do just that. True to his character - and in keeping with his promise - God will arrive at the perfect time. He will come close. And whether in silence or with words, God will fill our hearts with courage and assure us of his love.
We're going to the mountain tomorrow. And there on the mountain, we will meet with God.
So many parts of my ministry I have anticipated before they have happened.
But I never anticipated what will happen tomorrow.
Whatever we might do will not be adequate to the task - so we will need to trust God alone to do what we can't do. We will need to trust God to do what he alone can do.
And he will do exactly that.
Sitting here empty on the night before, I am sure that he will do exactly that.