I find myself thinking a lot about the Bible stories that bother me most. There are many stories, of course, that I love . . . stories that make sense and don't bother me at all. There are other stories, though, that drive me crazy . . . stories that don't make sense to me and stories that seem to call me to make impossible choices.
I'm not trying to be irreverent in regard to Scripture - I know that every story is there on purpose and that I need to submit my life to it, but honesty demands that I admit how hard that can be.
One of the stories that gives me fits is the story of Jesus' encounter with Pilate, the Roman governor. It's not really much of a trial, but Pilate believes that he has the power to shape these divinely-ordained events. Just before the crucifixion, Pilate demands that Jesus answer his questions. What bothers me most is Jesus' silence. When a word or two could have cleared everything up, Jesus says so little. And what he does say is almost completely misunderstood by Pilate.
I know who holds power in this biblical scene, but the one with power is so quiet, so passive, so willing to lay it all down. He is even willing to be misunderstood. In fact, Jesus almost goes out of his way to seem powerless.
And what bothers me most about the story may be the very point that is most important about it: despite the pressure and expectation of our world, could it be that Jesus wants me to handle power that same way?
I guess I'm fine if Jesus wants to deal with his encounters with authority that way; I just don't want him to expect that of me.
Personally, I'm not really a fan of power. I find it easily misused and I don't trust myself with it. So that part is easy for me. What's harder is watching other people with power use it for their own advantage. Whether through titles or intimidation or threat, some people love to take control and make things happens. When I see that, I want to fight back. Essentially, I want to respond to power with power.
But Jesus shows me another way. He tells me that true power is expressed in laying my life down.
And I understand that.
I just don't like it very much.