My favorite book in all the world is called Leaving Ruin. This novel by Jeff Berryman tells the story of Cyrus Manning, an evangelical pastor who struggles with his call in a tiny west Texas town called Ruin (no kidding). At the end of the book, Cyrus leaves Ruin (referring literally to the town that he leaves and metaphorically to the ruin in his life and the lives of others that he leaves behind). Leaving Ruin was Jeff Berryman's first novel, and it is a gem. The book received great praise - especially for succeeding in depicting an evangelical pastor as a real human being (which is no small task).
I've read the book maybe ten times. It's the kind of book that I tend to read very slowly so that I can savor every word. Early on, I made it a tradition to read Leaving Ruin every time I flew back from a trip to Africa. The last time I did that, I wept for most of the Atlantic Ocean; the book is just that beautiful.
And though every detail is not exact, the book seems to be about me. Again, not in every way. But in enough ways to be almost frightening. At the end of the book, Cyrus leaves Ruin, moves to Seattle, and starts driving a taxi. I'm not quite ready to do that, but the thought has crossed my mind.
Here's the thing.
Jeff Berryman has promised a second book, a sequel. It's to be called Hunting Grace. The second book was promised years ago, but it hasn't been finished yet. At this point, I need that book to see what might be next for me. If Jeff Berryman did such a good job describing me in his first book, surely his second book will give me even more guidance.
Unfortunately, I know a little bit about leaving ruin. Now I'd like to learn something about hunting grace. And I'm waiting for Jeff Berryman to help me with that.
Several years ago, I sent Jeff Berryman an e-mail asking that he hurry up with his second novel. I explained my emotional connection with Cyrus Manning, and I told him that I was ready for the next part of the story. I wouldn't normally write that kind of e-mail, but I felt that I could use the help. Jeff Berryman kindly wrote back and explained that he was working on the book and that it would be published when he was finished with it.
That, however, was several years ago. And I'm needing the follow-up book now more than ever.
In the meantime, I guess I'll read Leaving Ruin once again. The book is pretty marked up. I can quote whole passages. I know how the story ends. But I'll still read it slowly and look for words that will help me make sense of my life right now.
Funny thing.
As bleak and desolate as Ruin is, it's also beautiful and it's also a place where God is at work. Right in the middle of all the confusion and chaos, God is very much at work. In Ruin - and in lots of other places.
At this point, with or without the second book, I'm hunting grace. And I'm pretty sure that's just I'll find.